Every year when the new year starts I look back on the year that has been. I think this is something we all do.
This year though I have felt emotionally exhausted. I consider myself a fairly robust person. I can roll with life’s ups and downs and regardless of what I have to deal with, I pride myself on being able to pick myself up and keep moving forward.
2017 was tough for my family. As I looked back at the year I realized I was exhausted by all the emotional energy I had invested in others.
This only came to light today…the first day of 2018 when I had to deal with a distraught 18-year-old daughter. She is still maneuvering through life – just got her driver’s license and newly 18 (an adult). She’s struggling with finding herself and her path in life. Talking to her today and doing the mum thing…I soon worked out that why I was so exhausted.
As a wife and partner I supported my husband through a career crisis. I talked through the solutions never letting him know I was scared of what could happen.
As a mother I supported my son through his year, was there for him as he conquered his anxiety. I made sure he was supported in his education. Not once did I say “I’m tired. I cannot deal with this.”
As a mum to an 18-year-old girl this was my hardest year yet. I watched as she took completed her final studies, struggling with her own demons. I stood with her and bolstered her when she needed it. I never let her know that I was tired and emotionally exhausted. I did what I had to do. I never told her I was scared by what being an adult meant. I smiled, I hugged, I got on with it.
So today, on the eve of my 47th year on this earth,
To all of you, male or female, old or young, who feel so tired and can’t understand why – look at what you do in a year. Give yourself a pat on the back and know that you kick life’s ass everyday!