Perfectionism wants us to believe that if we can just say & do the “right” things or make the “right” choices, that we’ll be loved, that we won’t be judged, that we won’t be alone.
I call BS on that…as does Eleanor Roosevelt. Even she knew that there are always people out there willing to criticize. While I fully advocate surrounding yourself with folks who are more loving, it’s pretty apparent that even if you make the absolute right choice there’s gonna be someone out there who is ready to judge.
The only right thing to say or do, is what you truly believe in your heart. <—-CLICK to Tweet
This is a hard truth, and perfectionism will wrestle you to the ground to convince you otherwise. Here is a quick way to give it a run for its money:
- List all the times when you went with the crowd, said or did what was expected and you felt really good about it the next day.
- List all the times when you spoke what was in your heart, and felt good about it the next day.
When you really consider the whole picture, not just the momentary stress relief of saying what is expected, you can feel the difference. Speaking what’s in your heart feels better. While you may risk judgment from others, you can leave the room if you’re being judged. You can’t get away from how you feel.
Take some time this week and make the lists. Then take a baby step and say what’s in your heart in 1 situation. Pay attention to how you feel the next day.