You’ve been feeling it for a while now and you know, in the deepest part of your heart, that it’s time to make a change.
You have a yearning for something different, something better. You’re tired of waking up in the morning feeling exhausted, dreading going to your soul-sucking job, sick of dealing with assholes while you wait for your soulmate to find you. Or maybe you hate the way you’ve been sucked into self-doubt, self-sabotage and low self-worth.
When you let yourself daydream and think of all that’s possible, you see a life that’s full – one where you feel at ease, full of joy and bursting with confidence. You’ve found your flow and now each morning you wake up feeling radiant and energized, your days are filled with doing what you love and abundance – love, health, wealth – comes to you easily.
Your mind whips back and the inner chatter floods your head.
“That’s not possible for me.” you think to yourself.
I’m far too introverted and people just don’t get me. Creating friendships with women is impossible, there’s too much drama. It’s easier to be alone. Nobody believes in me, people are too critical and they constantly crush my dreams anyway. What’s the point?
My childhood was crap, nothing ever comes to me easily, and living a life that I actually love? That’s for other people, not people like me. There are too many things working against me. This is too hard.
Those are just some of the stories we tell ourselves. The excuses we use so that we can continue to play it safe, never truly showing up as ourselves. Off we go, continuing to exude a smaller version of ourselves, never reaching our full potential.
You decide to give this “self-love” thing a go. You meditate, recite daily affirmations, drink green smoothies, listen to self-development podcasts, grow your crystal collection and maybe enroll in a weekend workshop or two.
“Why the hell isn’t this working? The Universe must really have it in for me.”
Every so often we need a loving smack down, so here it is: THE ONLY ONE STOPPING YOU IS YOU.
Our stories can point us in the direction of self-actualization or they can be toxic and it’s far easier to point, judge and blame things outside of ourselves instead of looking within. We like to think that other people get in our way, or project what’s within ourselves onto someone else, because it is easy.
There’s no point in blaming everyone around you for how your life is turning out. If you don’t like the path you’re taking – decide to change it. It’s time to take responsibility for your own experience.
The gunk that reveals itself? Your shadow – the inner critic – she’s all yours to own, to dive into, to embrace, to meet with compassion. Allow yourself to explore that space within you because when we only focus on the light we’re also continuing to shove down or shame the so-called “bad” parts of ourselves. Nobody can bring you the limitlessness, the expansiveness and peace that self-acceptance can give you, and that means accepting all parts of who you are.
You deserve to give yourself a chance to believe in yourself and more importantly, you owe it to yourself to stop being your own limitation. The extent to which you allow yourself to suffer from the thoughts running through your mind is entirely up to you.
Quit thinking there’s something inherently wrong with you, that you are bad, broken and you need to fix, change or improve any aspect of yourself. This isn’t about putting yourself in a corner to think about all the bad things you’ve done. This is quite the opposite. This is about making the conscious choice to set aside the blaming and excuse-making so that you can shed light on what’s no longer working anymore and gain clarity over what needs to happen to actively dissolve self-limitation.
It’s radical self-responsibility and the greatest act of self-love. What I’m talking about is the practice of moving gently, being compassionate towards yourself and opening your eyes to the bigger picture.
Believe that things can unfold differently for you. Nobody can empower you but you.
I’d love to hear about a time or two that your mind has kept you limited – calling it out so that it can be moved through. What action will you take to own your part so you can drop the limitations and move forward?