I recently read a Brene Brown quote that beautifully articulated something I’ve noticed for a long time. I’m paraphrasing, but she basically said that we tend to view people in 2 groups: those who need help and those who give help.
Which group do you most identify with?
For a long time I was squarely in the giving help group. I was not someone who needed help. After all, you can’t keep up the image of having it all together if you ask for help, right?
The truth is we’re all in both groups. Human beings are wired for connection, and asking for help is a primary source of connection. It’s a way to grow, to relax and to learn to take care of yourself.
…and I know how hard it can be to ask.
I’ve practiced asking for help a lot, and it still can be a challenge some days. What’s made it easier is remembering what I really want. Is it more important to prove I can do something, or to actually get a thing done? I try not to keep score with myself and to celebrate the things I’ve learned by asking for help.
When I feel really scared to ask for help, I remind myself that even if I get a No, I’m no worse off than I am right now…and there’s a good possibility that asking for help will make things better.
My hairdresser has an extreme fear of heights, and told me a beautiful story about courageously asking for help. She was recently at a concert with friends, and their seats were so high she couldn’t make it up. Her first thought was that she didn’t want to ruin everyone’s night, so she’d just listen to the music from the hallway. Then, she summoned some courage and asked at the Guest Services desk if their seats could me moved. Unfortunately she was told no. She went back to the hallway plan, and was in the elevator with friends when an employee of the venue overheard the group talking. He saw her face and got on his walkie talkie. A few minutes later the whole group was enjoying the concert from a club box! Had she not asked for help, she would have been sitting in a hallway.
Where might you need to ask for help? I invite you to summon your courage this week, and reach out to ask.
CLICK to Tweet: You get in life what you have the #courage to ask for. -Oprah Winfrey via @KindOverMatter