I believe very strongly in choosing your words carefully. There are certain words that I choose not to say, and I’ve seen the big difference a little rephrasing can make in many situations.
The words we say to ourselves are no different. How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? Are you muttering under your breath about being an idiot? Are you calling yourself stupid? Those are some pretty powerful words, and they have an impact. Years of talking to yourself that way have been shown to increase stress decrease self-worth.
So I’ll just stop, right?
Sure! If it’s that easy for you, godspeed. I think that’s amazing and my hat is off to you!
For the rest of us, the first step is noticing when you’re doing this. Set the intention to tune into yourself and pay attention for a few days. Notice how you talk to yourself and what you say. Once you become aware, you can make small shifts. Even making the shift from “I’m stupid” to “I made a stupid choice” is going to have a positive impact. You’re taking yourself out of it, and making the choice wrong, not YOU. Try this as a small step.
When you’ve gotten comfortable making that shift, try following that up with something kind. Try, “I made a stupid choice, and I know I’m still a smart person”. Again, try this for a while, until it starts to feel more natural.
Shifting the way you talk to yourself changes how you show up in the world. You’ll start to notice you’re more patient, more likely to smile at a stranger, and more likely to treat others just as kindly as you’re now treating yourself. That, my friends, is how you change the world.
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