As I’ve navigated through the murky waters of anxiety and depression over a bad break-up, I’ve suddenly found my way. In simply wading into the waters, afraid of what may await me in the current – fearful of the undertow (but confident in my swimming skills), I rescued myself from the eddy of shame.
We’ve all heard the quote: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step” and all the other quotes meant to inspire and edify us. The work of taking the first step is overwhelming, at best, and the definition of “step” is likely different for everyone. Maybe your first step isn’t so much of a step as it is a slow slide to the floor out of bed in the morning. I’ve been there too. But after a few slow slides, before you know it you’re actually sitting up and greeting the day as if it holds your future.
Because, I promise you – it does.
Journeys are individual but the paths are all well-worn. I take an extreme amount of comfort in knowing that my feet are not the first to blaze the trail. There are others who’ve known pain who have traveled the road, shared the tears, and paved a way for me to find my way through the underbrush. The reason I know those others exist is because somewhere I’ve heard about their journey. They’ve shared it with me personally, or with the world through writing. They’ve told it on TV, or shared it through song. It’s everyone. I am cradled in the arms of every living person. Isn’t that amazing?
I receive a lot of feedback from these posts. I welcome these responses as it makes me another pair of arms in the big cradle. I share my personal stories for many reasons. Not the least of which is to help heal myself. I share my hurts openly, in a forum of strangers with only one hope in mind – that someone will realize that they are not alone. There is a collective of human spirit that supports all of us. It is more abundant than we imagine, and it waits for us.
For me, sharing leads me to some of the greatest influences I’ve ever known. I recently had a conversation with a friend with a similar personality about how it sometimes gets in the way of our greater intentions. We were discussing our mutual inability to trust:
She: I don’t want someone to try and change me. Maybe it’s not about control. I just want honesty. I wait and look for lies, and usually find them.
Me: Because it’s SO FUN to be right!
She: I’m very comfortable being suspicious and my reward is being right about my suspicions…but it’s not much of a reward really.
She has allowed me to share that part of our conversation because at that moment, we both realized several things – our behaviors have not served us well AND someone else understands it.
This life is nothing but a practice run.
Practice opening yourself to experiences, people, and things that restore your humanity. Allow yourself room to stretch out into your own skin. Whether accidental or on purpose, finding the edges teaches you how far you can go. You may surprise yourself.
That’s called Growth…and today is your Someday.
|Laura, recently an empty nester, adopted a rescue dog. As he sits on her keyboard, slobbering her with love and attention, even as she tries to write it’s still very obvious who rescued whom. Open to all the forms of love the Universe has to offer is now her special addiction.|