Letting Go – the Ultimate Act of Kindness with Tia Sparkles Singh

Guest Post by Tia Sparkles Singh for the Kind Kindred series.

Letting go – the ultimate act of kindness?

I made a decision recently, to let go of a situation I’d been holding onto for a few months. It wasn’t serving me. It wasn’t serving the other person. It wasn’t serving a higher good. Where once there had been an amazing connection, circumstances had changed and there was left a shell of what existed.

But, I couldn’t let go.

Of the stories I had created in my mind. The potential. The “what ifs”. The “maybes”. The “signs”. And so I looked for the lessons to learn. Worked on myself. Tried to be more understanding, change with the blowing wind. Detach myself. Adapt.

It worked for a while. Then without warning, I’d be back in the spinny web of my creation, held prisoner by my thoughts and beliefs.

If there’s one thing I became very aware of and learned in the past year, it’s how vampire like and energy sucking ‘tolerations’ can be.

“I don’t love this but I don’t hate it either.”
“I guess it’ll do.”
“We don’t always get what we want.”
“There’s a reason for everything, it all happens for the best.”

It’s why I downsized, sold most everything I owned and packed my life in 8 boxes. Everything I loved stayed. Everything I was tolerating went.

Tell the truth to yourself – it’s not the same. I don’t love this. This is not enough for me. I want more.

If your head and heart are packed full of old shit that’s not serving you, where’s the space for allowing in the people and things that will?

Crescendo. Crash. It came to this – If it’s not a hell yeah, it’s a no (thanks Derek Sivers). Add to this “when in doubt, throw it out”, and every situation I apply these words to, has changed in front of my eyes.

It’s a kindness, it is. To release tolerations from your life. To make a decision to surround yourself with what and who energises you.

You know what happens when you do?

You do not just yourself, but the other person a kindness too. When you let go, you allow yourself the chance to bloom again. And you free up their energetic field of the anxious, frustrated energy you’ve been sending their way.

Yes, it gets noticed. Even if you think you’re doing a good job of hiding your feelings. We sense and process minute emotions and feelings at a level our minds cannot fathom.

Consciously clearing ‘tolerations’ and energy draining situations from your life requires an act of real courage.

The courage that can only come from a space of love and kindness.

From your heart.

This isn’t about vindicating yourself or making anyone wrong.

It’s about doing what you know in your heart is the right thing to do.

Changing my situation from ‘something to be worked at and changed’ to ‘I let you go with compassion’ turned it into sacredness. I watched my angst disintegrate and float away, like it hadn’t been able to all year.

Fascinating. Awe-inspiring. Immensely relieving. Sadness inducing. Doing the right thing doesn‘t always feel like rainbows, it can feel like the soft whisper of a butterfly’s wing as it shimmers, flaps and gently sighs, dripping in nostalgia.

Yet, there’s an ease when it comes from that space.
Dis-ease when it doesn’t.

If there’s something you’ve been finding hard to let go, remember this first – it’s a process. Take as long as you need, don’t rush it.

But, also ask yourself this question – is holding on in service of you, them or ‘it’?

Would it hurt now but be kinder in the long term? Sometimes, there’s no forgetting. But there is movement. There is letting go while holding on. Letting go of the pain, holding onto the memories.

“When you make your peace with loss – real, imagined or potential, there is nothing left to lose. You are then free to act with full integrity.”

Follow that path. It will lead you to your truth. There is no wrong way, just your way.

What do you need to let go of? When will you do it?

Tia Sparkles Singh is a Life Coach, Traveler & WordMakerUpper who helps multi-passionate people with shiny object syndrome get clear on what they want, find a career or start a business they’re passionate about and live a life that ROCKS, their way. She loves sparkles, Nutella & NZ. Join the Your Life YOUR Way facebook page & visit her website to learn more about multi-passionism!


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