I Don’t Know

Poetry by Becky Sain.

I Don’t Know

I don’t know what love is,

but I hope it looks like my daughter’s smile,

the way her mouth curls over the empty spot where her front teeth should be.

I don’t know what love is,

but I hope it feels like the ocean,

when I stand on the edge where the sand meets the water and I lose my balance but only for a moment and I shift my weight and then I steady myself and it all happens so fast that the smile never leaves my face.

I don’t know what love is,

but I hope it sounds like Lucinda Williams,

when she sings about hope and touch and lust and truth and she does it all so righteously that I want to find the nearest dance floor and let loose all my inhibitions.

I don’t know what love is,

but I hope it smells like the kitchen at my grandmother’s house,

when she was making John Mozetti and cherry cobbler and it all mixed with her Chanel #5 and I wanted to breathe it all in like buckets of warm memories trickling over my thoughts.

I don’t know what love is,

but I hope it looks like the smile that slowly creeps across my face,

at the very moment when I open an unexpected card from someone who took the time to send me a thought just because…

I don’t know what love is,

but I hope it feels like the pounding of my heart,

when I can sense that you’re almost here and I know your heart is pounding too and my joy becomes your joy because we were made like that, we were made to care and share and be alive for one another.

I don’t know what I’m thinking when I think I’m thinking about love –

but I hope…

Becky Sain spends her days working with children with autism and the rest of her time being a single mother to three beautiful children. In between, she shares her poems and prose on her blog, First Pages, in an attempt to gain a better understanding of this wonderful world.

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